Thursday, May 5, 2011

Lesson Learned

It was one of those days that started okay but as I was sitting in front of my computer at work, I suddenly felt a sharp trickle of pain move from one side of my head over to the other.  While it happened really quickly, it felt like it was going in slow motion.  It was one of those moments that made me go “ohmygod, OW!!!” and my elbows went to desk,  hands to my head, fingers to my temples and I just stopped.  For a good minute or so.  The manager in the office was like “uh....you ok?” and I immediately hit my bag for some ibuprofen and went to Starbucks for some coffee.
As time progressed and hours passed, the pain remained and the side effects grew.  My senses were heightened to a whole new level and I swear every person in the store was screaming.  The door was shut to the office and I felt like everyone was standing right next to me yelling in my ear.  My patience was growing thin and I knew the next person to even kind of bug me, would either end up with a fist in the face or an onslaught of not nice words (whether they deserved it or not).  I knew then, it was time to take my lunch break.
I made the mistake of not taking my sunglasses to leave the store.  Outside wasn’t much better so I decided to grab my sunglasses, pop in my ear buds, and sit in the back hallway where it was hopefully quieter while I ate my lunch.  Sometimes it was.  Sometimes it wasn’t.  But it appeared that now that I wasn’t in the office, neither was anyone else so I went back inside.  Sunglasses stayed on.  Prescription migraine meds were swallowed.  Head back in my hands and then came the tears.  I was quiet and I’m pretty sure no one knew, but the pain and side effects were unbearable.  A quick trip to the bathroom to clean up my face and back to work I went.
I’m not exactly sure when the pain went away.  Or when the side effects decided to calm down, but all I have to say is thank God for pain medications when they decide to work
I was looking forward to my yoga practice this evening to unwind from the day I had.  ...I didn’t know what I was getting into.  It was a teacher I had the one time I went to this studio before my challenge on Thanksgiving so I knew it would be a hard class, good but hard.  But I was ready for it. Or so I thought.
This is where there lesson was learned.  I packed a pair of leggings + tank top.  When I got dressed, I was already feeling super self conscious and changed the tank top for the looser tshirt I spent my day in and continued on to class.  I spent the majority of the class feeling extremely self conscious and therefore couldn’t fully relax and be in the moment.  So what’s the lesson, you ask?  Despite the way others see our bodies and despite how we may actually look, we need to make sure we are constantly dressing ourselves so we feel good.  Because when we don’t, we aren’t setting ourselves up for success and end up feeling poorly even when we have no reason to.
And on a day like today, where my stress levels were high and I spent all day using “yoga” thoughts to get me through the pain and frustration, I needed this evening and I dropped the ball.  Then as I pulled into my garage, the waterworks began.  I’m not exactly sure why, other than a lot of personal frustration.  
So I leave you with the thought that I’ve been repeating in my head all night as I ate dinner and prepared for bed:
I’m just going to go to bed and end this day.  Tomorrow will be a better day.


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