Thursday, March 31, 2011

Sit & Wait (the biggest downfall of LA)

Today stinks!  I mean I guess in the grand scheme of things it’s not terrible but it hasn’t been great.  I got to start my day at the gym with a not so great work-out that left me feeling out of breath (dumb asthma) but still sweaty too.  I could have used more time to get the full stress-reducing benefits that I felt like were missing because my asthma was driving me crazy.  Followed by not feeling well, a frustrating beginning of the work day which was then continued with frustration, worrying about friends of mine and then traffic.  This was the killer.  I was so excited to finally get to leave and head home and then BAM! Traffic!  It’s a Thursday which means the traffic is the worst anyway, but my goodness this was awful!  It took me nearly an hour to go less than 3 miles! 3 miles in 60 mins! That’s 20 mins a mile! Oh. My. Goodness.  I’m now exhausted, have a headache and a continued version of cranky.  Boo.
I’m hoping I can snap out of this soon because I’m going out with some friend’s tonight to celebrate a friend getting a new job.  I’m really excited for her so I just have to hope I can stay awake and happy enough to enjoy the turtle racing that we will witness.  Yes, you heard me correctly.  Turtle racing.
And if you follow astrology at all, you probably know that the moon is void of course and things are going crazy!  I’m agreeing with my friend Justine and hoping this is all some kind of April Fool’s Day joke because otherwise it’s going to be a rough 45 hours with only 12 of them behind us...


Wednesday, March 30, 2011

It's that time again....

Dear Friends,


I tell you this because I care.  Take cover.  For the love of everything.  Take cover.  Mercury Retrograde began today and it's going to be a bumpy ride.  Hold on tight.  Buckle down.  Proceed with caution.


Lovingly,
Yours Truly


(Study Up: http://astrology.about.com/od/transitsandaspects/qt/Mercury-Retrograde-Dates-For-2011.htm

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

A Feeling of Helplessness

So there I am just ellipticalling away (yes, I just made up a word), when the instructor from the group exercise class comes out of the room with a lady in hand and sits her down at one of the extra desks by the front desk.  She quickly tells the employees what’s going on and heads back to continue teaching her class.  Meanwhile the employees are walking around looking for things (water I assume) and the lady has her head on the desk, with the trash can in convenient location if needed.  Now, I can assume she has low blood sugar causing her to feel extremely light headed and after mixing in some intense exercise, nausea as well.  
Despite the fact that I am a relatively healthy person (or try very hard to be), I am also someone known to be a “fainter.”  While I can only think of two times in which I have fainted (college graduation and a little over a year ago at work), I have had several times where I begin to black out and thank you to water and cool air, I’m able to come back before I get lost in the shuffle and end up on the floor or in someone’s arms being guided lightly to the floor.  The thing is, I don’t really have any medical know-how so when things like this happen (to me or others), I don’t know what to do.  And that makes me feel helpless.  I hate that feeling.
I was trying not to be one of those people staring at the person not feeling well, as I know from experience, that kind of attention is just awful.  And if anyone knew the medical extent to which passing out can lead you, you know the last thing someone wants is to be stared at if some of those more embarrassing side effects happen to occur.  And being the one mid faint, you have NO control over your body.  And I do mean NONE.  So some of the simplest tasks that you control on a daily basis for your body, become out of your control.  
I wasn’t staring as someone trying to figure out what was going on.  I was staring (or rather, kept looking over) as someone concerned and wanting to help.  But do to my lack of medical knowledge, I knew I couldn’t.  I knew I’d be as good as the employees that were standing around.  The best I could do would be to run to a nearby store to pick something up.  Though, I did wonder why an employee ran to get a cup of water instead of buying one from the machine right next to the lady.  But I also know in times of need, we often miss the simple solutions because we’re focused so much on the task at hand.  Either way, I wanted to help.  But I had no services to offer.  I manage bands.  I am great at administrative tasks.  I have a creative mind.  I work out a lot.  I know hardly anything about the medical field.  Fail. 
I wish that I could learn some of this stuff but quite honestly, I’m not that big into reading (unless it’s a story that grasps my attention and even then I struggle finishing books, even if I really want to!) and I’m not someone who learns by reading, I learn by doing and repeating said action.  Clearly, I don’t think I would serve well as a medical source of knowledge.  Ever.  It’s probably better I leave those tasks to others, like my cousin Drew who is currently in med school.  
I guess I’ll just have to deal with the helplessness as it occurs.  And if there’s something I can do, you better know I’ll jump on it and be there.  Otherwise, I’ll just keep looking over from my elliptical wishing there was something I could do.  


Monday, March 28, 2011

And in this moment...

Bad days need to end by going to bed early after doing something relaxing, like yoga, so that your mornings can begin with a refreshed look on the world.  Do I feel 100%? No.  But do I feel a million times better? Yes, yes I do.  
My morning began bright and early when my alarm went off at 4:30.  According to the “sleep cycle” app on my phone, I slept pretty well (tell you about this app later).  I did a quick email, text message check and horoscope check.  Then I went into 5 minutes of meditation.  This is a new thing for me.  Yoga is similar in a way but really, it’s meant to prepare you for meditation.  I bought a book called ‘5 Good Minutes’ by Jeffrey Brantley, MD & Wendy Millstine (“100 morning practices to help you stay calm & focused all day long.”)  It’s really just a way to give 5 minutes for yourself everyday.  To focus on your breathing.  To start your day on the right foot.  Why not?
This was then followed by a trip to the gym with an amazing run!! It’s been far too long since I was running regularly, so I’m trying to get back into it and get my time and distance back before the weather gets too beautiful so I can take my runs outside with confidence.  (I stopped running because I needed new shoes, which I still do so I need to get on that before my knees require me to stop again).  Either way, a great start to my morning.
As I sat here eating my breakfast and drinking my coffee (with vanilla almond milk...yum!), I realized in my head that I had a loop of these lyrics in my head: “and in this moment, I am happy.  Happy.”  What a great feeling.  So, I leave you with the lyrics for the whole song, ‘I Wish You Were Here’ by Incubus (OLD SCHOOL!).  Sums up a lot of things pretty well.  

I dig my toes into the sand
The ocean looks like a thousand diamonds strewn 
across a blue blanket
I lean against the wind, pretend that I am weightless
And in this moment I am happy
Happy
I wish you were here
I wish you were here
I wish you were here
I wish you were... here
I lay my head onto the sand
The sky resembles a back-lit canopy with holes punched in it
I'm counting UFO's, I signal them with my lighter
And in this moment I am happy
Happy
I wish you were here
I wish you were here
I wish you were... here
Wish you were here
The world's a rollercoaster
And I am not strapped in
Maybe I should hold with care
But my hands are busy in the air
Sayin
I wish you were here
I wish you were...
I wish you were here
I wish you were here
I wish you were... here
Wish you were here 
 

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Quite the 180

I’ve been on this earth for 23 years and yet it STILL surprises me that one day you could be filled with joy and hope and the next day, you’re hiding in the electrical closet at work trying to hide your tears because you’re feeling so overwhelmed with life.  I mean, really?!  How is that okay?  (And no, I don’t expect you to tell me that it is.  Because it’s not).  My morning was alright.  I felt frustrated with a few things but overall I was okay.  But I went to lunch and all of a sudden, I was just swept with more emotion than my eyes could handle.  I hid in the hallway shivering and eating my lunch and then started to read one of my new books.  A coworker came up, asked if I was okay to which I replied “no, but it’s okay” and next thing I knew I had wet spots dropping on my book pages.  
I’m not looking for pity.  Or for you to worry about me.  Because quite honestly, I’ll be okay.  As I’ve mentioned before, things are just a little rough right now and I’m struggling and searching to find my way to where I want to be.  And where I am happiest.  But we are all full of imperfections and insecurities and I’m finding several of mine are surfacing right now, many as a result of the recent events.  I hate how much this is getting to me.  Especially after I spoke with a coworker who is going through some really rough stuff right now.  It makes all my “stuff” seem like petty nonsense.  But since it’s what I’m dealing with, it doesn’t appear that way to me.  
I’m not really feeling my veggie burger and I burnt the bun.  Dinner fail #2 this week.  I think yoga, reading and an early nights sleep need to happen.  Sometimes that’s the only way to handle a rough day before it can take you down even more. 
Here’s to waking up feeling refreshed - physically and mentally.


Saturday, March 26, 2011

Bucket List

What a beautifully productive and relaxing day.  Aside from the not very tasty (ended up down the drain) dinner I made for myself, it was a really great day.  I would have loved to spend some time with friends but as the day progressed and I continued to map it out in my head, I didn’t think I had time.  Sorry friends, let’s play soon!
My day started by feeling well rested and sleeping in (much later than planned), quickly followed by breakfast and coffee to ease the growling stomach.  Then onward to the gym! My manager needed to make a copy of my key, as theirs wasn’t working when they needed to get into my apartment to fix something this past week - that took him 10 minutes, tops!  Loads of laundry and additional to-do list items filled my day, with fun trips to the grocery store and Barnes & Noble fit in.  I walked away from Barnes & Noble with 3 new books (many others were picked up and pondered).  I’m on a journey of self-discovery called LIFE and plan to get through it with the best of my abilities.  
Have you ever seen ‘The Bucket List’?  Talk about a feel good movie!  I rented it via Netflix and when I sat down to watch it earlier this week, I was upset to determine the DVD was damaged.   I was so happy when the replacement came in the mail today!  That movie was so good!  Honestly, I’m surprised I didn’t cry but I was so happy and filled with life while watching it.  I think I might have to work on writing out my own bucket list.  I know I have many years left (or I at least hope so!) but what a fun list of things to strive for and look forward to accomplishing along the way.  What would be on your bucket list?
Anyway, after such a relaxing and feel good day, I can’t wait to take a shower and do some yoga before reading one of my new books in bed!  G’night folks!


Yes, I'm a Work-a-holic

Is it bad that after 3 months of blogging, I’m already ready for my blog to look different? I like the background and all but I think I’m ready for a change.  My Karma Music blog is undergoing change.  Not in the look, because I still like that, but it’s basically starting from scratch - first entry was removed.  I guess that’s okay though because I have more time now.  Actually, I don’t know what entirely to do with my time now.  I know it sounds silly, but I have always been such a work-a-holic that every moment I’m not at work, I’m at home doing my freelance work, or at another job.  I know how unhealthy living like that is but it’s what I know and what I’m used to.  I guess now I can take the time to really research everything that I need to do to start a business, gather all of my information, work on my business plan and know that I have enough time to do all of this.  
Remember how I said I’m not making any decisions right now?  Well, I’m not.  BUT I do keep finding myself going back to the idea of starting my company and already missing the work of managing bands.  I guess that’s my heart leading me back on the path that I was born to do? Or maybe it’s not that technical but it’s still interesting.  It ought to be interesting to see how it all plays out for me.
So last night was fun and filled with more amazing friends!  I used to live in a building in West Hollywood that was more like a dorm at times because everyone was so friendly and would hang out, at least that’s how my floor was.  After I moved from the building, I stopped getting to see these people as often.  One of them texted me the other day about a movie and Yogurtland to cheer me up after what happened last week.  Who could turn that down? They have a big adventure today so everyone felt a little strapped for cash and it ended up only being Dan and I who went but I got to at least go up and say hi to everyone quickly, which was fun.  We saw ‘Rango’ which was a little weird.  It wasn’t a bad movie in any way but it was definitely slow moving at times but I was still entertained so it was okay.  This is only the 3rd movie I’ve seen in the theatres since I moved to LA a year and a half ago...weird, huh?  But it was a fun and relaxing evening with a good friend - thanks Dan!
With that, I’m off on an adventure of face-sweating, calorie-burning exercises, followed by some laundry and maybe a little grocery shopping. Whoop Whoop!


Thursday, March 24, 2011

Cards, Apps and Yoga

Let me tell you something that just MADE my day yesterday!  I worked 1-10, which felt like the longest night of my life.  But then I went out for a bit to celebrate a coworkers birthday.  It was fun and I stayed a little bit longer than I planned on, but that was fine, it just made for a difficult time waking up this morning.  But I got home, grabbed my mail and walked into my apartment.  It was late but a quick flip through the mail and I saw that one of my really good friends (who lives down the street) sent me a card to make me feel better with everything that’s been going on.  It made me so happy! Thanks Justine!
Especially since I work at Apple and I’m always surrounded by technology and people talking technology and apps, I always feel like I’m on the hunt for the newest and coolest apps out there.  Though, I feel like my phone does a lot of what I want it to (aside from the fact that I need to restore it because it is slooooowwww).  But after this past weekend, my anxiety was particularly high and I browsing through the App Store on my phone kept me mildly distracted.  Upon searching I found an app called Morsel (I think it’s powered by GE) designed to “help people stay healthy by recommending simple, attainable tasks for users to complete each day.”  I love the concept and it was totally free!  Today’s “morsel” had me link my fingers behind my head and stretch my elbows back for 5 seconds and forward for 5 seconds, then repeat 5 times.  It was simple but it was like a quick moment of yoga or meditation, allowing me to focus on myself and breathe.  I’ll try to share some fun apps each week, how does that sound? :)
Speaking of yoga, I think it is in my very near future for this evening.  I.Can.Not.Wait.  It’s needed.  It’s so weird because every day I try to take off from the gym or exercise, it feels like something is missing.  ...because it is!  So I’ll do a light 20 minute flow that will hopefully relax me and make me feel good. 
My brain also keeps going back and forth, continuing my reassurance in my plan to make no decisions right now.  When I’m ready...  When I’m ready...  When I’m ready...
And right now I’m ready for 20 minutes of yoga followed by my warm bed.  G’night folks. 



Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Repeat.

Sleep through first alarm.
Hit snooze on the second alarm a few times.
Crawl out of bed.
Change.
Eat 1/2 a banana with a little peanut butter.
Head to the gym for a good hour or so workout.
Come home.
Eat breakfast:
- 2 slices whole wheat toast with peanut butter + the second 1/2 of banana
- 1 or 2 cups coffee with warmed up soy milk
Take shower and get ready for day.
Blog. Check email. Read other blogs.
Go to work for 8 hours.
Come home.
Sleep.


Repeat.


Consistency and routines keep us going.
What does your routine look like?





Tuesday, March 22, 2011

The arrival of the TOMS, a rant, and dealing with ambiguity...

To my fellow Apple co-workers who may read this, I’m sorry but I needed to use “dealing with ambiguity” for this...next time you hear me say it, I’ll be at work using more of our ‘Apple’ talk....


I’m so excited because my purchases from TOMS came in yesterday!  It was such a fun surprise that they came so quickly and that little boost was needed last night.  One extra fun thing about purchasing from TOMS is how they always come with a fun little “surprise.”  I guess since I bought a tshirt AND a pair of shoes, I got lots of little extras!  To start with, two pairs of shoes were donated from my purchase!  Additionally, I got two bumper stickers and a TOMS flag/tote thing.  I’m not really sure what the bag is for, but I have an idea to take all of the bags, flags, etc they send and someday use them to create a fun reusable grocery bag or purse.  Anyway, I think the most exciting and heart warming surprise they sent was a string bracelet and letter.  While I know these are sent to many people, it’s such a heart warming letter.  I included the picture below, but the letter basically tells the story of when Blake (the founder of TOMS), delivered a pair of shoes to a child, they put a bracelet (just like this one) on his arm which now serves as a daily reminder of the joy brought to this child for the work he does.  It’s truly touching. 



I want to tell you all about something really disturbing I saw last week.  While I was on the Irish Soda Bread hunt, I ran into an Albertson’s and was immediately set off.  I don’t usually shop there unless there’s something I need to pick up on my way home from the gym and I’m short on time to drive to Ralph’s or Trader Joes.  I always find that Albertson’s in more expensive, but I’ve also gone into one location and the guy at the checkout was really annoying (I believe I wrote about him and his questioning for a discount at Apple in a past entry).  But when you walk in and there’s usually a table or display of a current promotion (like hot dog accessories in the summer, etc) there was a table set up with “Earthquake Kits.”  Now, I know that I live in Southern California and we do get earthquakes (I believe we may have had a small one a couple nights ago when I woke up and felt like I was swaying, as if I were on a boat) and I guess it’s considered “earthquake season” BUT this didn’t feel like a reminder to be prepared with canned food and water should a devastation hit, this felt like a decision to maximize profit through the public’s fear.  Maybe I’m reading into it too much, but I was outraged.  And as much as I wanted to find Irish Soda Bread sooner rather than later, I was more than okay having not found it there and therefore not giving the company any additional profit.  Not cool Albertson’s, not cool.
I’m working on changing my mindset about my current situation.  There have been (and will continue to be) lots of long trips to the gym, yoga sessions (there need to be more of these all the time), and hugs and talks with friends.  My gym sessions are usually accompanied by a magazine, a health one if I have one, and as I was working my way through the April 2011 issue of Fitness Magazine, there’s an article titled “This Way Up” about how we will all fail eventually but need to pick ourselves up and keep charging forward to truly reach success.  One line that really stood out stated “everybody fails, but the difference is that people who are successful know how to respond.  The know how to get back up.”  There were also reminders of stories of “famous” people who failed before they reached success and the power to push forward and get where you’re trying to go.  It was mildly inspiring (it’s going to take a lot right now, ok?) but allowed me to reassure myself that I’ll get where I’m trying to go, wherever that is.  As I’ve mentioned several times over the last couple of days, I refuse to make any decisions right now as I know that I’m not in a state to do so.  I’ll brainstorm my options and think through things, but I’m also just trying to take this opportunity for self discovery, to relax and enjoy only working one job (I suddenly have NO idea what to do with my time, I’m not used to this concept of “free” time), getting in plenty of exercise, and surrounding myself with the amazing people I’ve met in LA and reigniting friendships where our time together may have been pushed aside so I could handle the work load I put in front of myself.  Those people are still standing by me, they deserve my time and attention.  I’ll weigh my options for my future and eventually make some decisions.  I’ll watch a few movies (I love that my mom and sister both wished they were around for ‘Little Women’).  I’ll listen to lots of music, both new and old.  I’ll maybe even read a few books.  I’ll organize and re-organize and then organize again.  I’ll do whatever I have to do to distract myself from the overwhelming thoughts that so easily take over.  I’ll allow myself the time that I need to deal with the decision they decided to make and the hurt and frustration that it causes me.  But then I’ll move on.  And I’ll be okay.

P.S.  Thanks to my friend Tina for helping me brainstorm today’s entry name, including the idea of calling it ‘Tina’... ;)

Monday, March 21, 2011

Feel Good Vibes

I write this post as I lay in bed at 8:30PM on Sunday evening with the intent for this to post Monday morning and having just finished a nice 20 minute yoga session lit only by two vanilla scented candles in my dark abode.  I’m trying to create a relaxing environment for myself while the world outside my door floods, as it’s been raining all day.  But as I stated earlier, it only seems fitting for how I feel.  What makes everything all the worse, is not believing what actually happened and therefore reliving the moment over and over to be sure what happened actually happened.  It’s like opening a wound again each time.
Despite all of this, I have to say I am reminded how thankful I am to have some amazing people in my life.  After it happened yesterday, I called a friend in hysterics who dropped what he was doing and drove over to my apartment where he hugged me and tried to relax me for an hour or so.  I was also swarmed with loving text messages as I shared the news and worried phone calls.  While out Saturday night for a friend’s birthday, I had numerous hugs, friend’s claiming they’d punch me if I started crying but when it happened, they rushed over, sat next to me, hugged me, hid my face until I had stopped the water works and helped wipe the tears from my face so no one would be the wiser.  I’ve had numerous offers to hang out today, grab frozen yogurt, drink hot chocolate, have a glass of wine, whatever.  Unfortunately I was feeling rather anti-social and instead decided to eat too much sugar (tummy ache..boo) and watch ‘Little Women,’ clean my bathroom, and go grocery shopping.  I figured the only people I could probably convince to watch ‘Little Women’ with me would be my mom and sister, but with my mom in IL and my sister in Africa, I knew I was going solo and I was okay with that.  But I still feel truly thankful for the love and support I’ve been getting from friends all over the country.  Thank you.  I love you all. 
While I’m trying to deal with my own personal “tragedies” that I know in the grand scheme of things are nothing compared to the real tragedies in the world, the least I can do is try to distract myself, move forward, and help others.  When you help other people, it comes back to you and makes you feel good.  A few days ago, I told you all about the GAP Give and Get Program, which I love!  I spent my lunch break the other day wandering around GAP and walked away with a new track jacket!  There was one in a different color on a sale but it was a medium and I liked the way the small fit, so I went with the not-on-sale color.  But I don’t feel guilty for this purchase in any way, because while I got 30% off, 5% of what I paid went to Habitat for Humanity!  Feel good vibes!


A Santa Monica, CA based company that I absolutely love is a shoe company called TOMS (http://www.toms.com/).  Toms works off the One for One idea: With every pair you purchase, TOMS will give a pair of new shoes to a child in need.  How could you not feel good about purchasing from them?  In LA, TOMS are often deemed “hipster” shoes and while I don’t think I fall into that “hipster” category, I don’t care if someone wants to call me that because I bought a pair of shoes that gives back.  They’re cute, come in many styles and are relatively comfortable.  I wear them to work all the time and if you add your own additional insert, they were often more comfortable working on the floor than many of my other pairs of shoes.  I have one pair already but decided to buy a second pair that I’d been eyeing for several weeks along with a new tshirt. 


There is an event on April 5th, called  ‘A Day Without Shoes’ which TOMS uses to raise awareness of the impact a pair of shoes (or lack thereof) can have on a child’s life (http://www.onedaywithoutshoes.com/splash ).  The work this company does, is truly amazing and inspiring.  While I don’t think I will be able to successfully go without shoes that day (shoes are generally required in my workplace), I plan on wearing my new tshirt to support this day, along with a pair of TOMS.  It’s the little things that count and send more of those feel good vibes. 




Sunday, March 20, 2011

It's Raining in LA...

I have really good intuition.  I wish I could say this was a good thing but it’s actually rather scary.  It makes some things difficult because I can’t tell if I’m just being paranoid.  Generally, I’m not.  Take last week’s “bad feeling that I just couldn’t shake” for example.  I felt like I knew what it was but I was afraid I was just being paranoid and tried very hard to calm myself down.  I didn’t want it be that.  But the negative feelings that had been swarming around my head and the feelings I had as to what I thought was coming,  were there for a reason and yesterday they were confirmed.
Honestly, I struggle wanting to even talk about this right now.  I know my mind is still trying to figure out how to react to all of it and figure out how to push forward.  It’s very easy for me to start questioning everything and determining my new place in everything.  I’m sure it’s me over reacting but it’s very easy to allow the emotions to take over.  And that's not healthy so I refuse to go into too much detail as to my thoughts and feelings right now.  It’s also extremely ironic this occurred the same day as yesterday’s announcement. 
For anyone out there concerned, I’m fine and I will be fine.  It just hurts right now and I need to find the best way to distract myself and move forward with a new plan.  But before any new plan can be created, I need a little time.  Right now my brain is coming up with numerous plans, none of which are coming about in a clear mind set, but rather out of anger and emotion.
It’s raining in LA today.  Rather, it’s pouring.  It doesn’t do this much here.  I love rain, so I don’t mind and it feels rather fitting for my mood.  Kind of like the sky is crying for me, so I don’t have to.  It’s also the LA Marathon today, so I hope the runners are staying safe and warm but meanwhile, I’m not leaving my neighborhood today (except maybe to meet a friend for some yogurtland).
My week will consist of catching up on sleep, relaxing and finding new ways to spend my newly created time and energy until I feel ready to push forward with my future and create a new plan.  I think I will also finally use that Groupon for a massage I bought a couple months ago.  I think I need it.  And I’d say, I deserve it.  




Saturday, March 19, 2011

Mid-Life Crisis

Are you sitting down?  If not, I think you should be.  I feel like I’m having a mid-life quarter-life crisis.  I know it sounds absolutely ridiculous, but I’m being totally honest.  2010 wasn’t very fun.  It definitely had it’s fun moments, don’t get my wrong, but mentally it was exhausting.  I started 2011 going in with a fresh start and mind.  I wanted to make this year about me.  About figuring out what would make me happy and working to achieve that by putting myself first.  I’ve done that so far.  It hasn’t been easy by any means, and not everyday is perfect but I didn’t expect it to be, so that’s fine.
I started my apartment remodel as a way to feel more motivated to get work done in my apartment, and therefore, be able to push forward on starting up my company.  And while I am very happy with the remodel and redecoration of my apartment, and happier choosing to stay here for the time being, there’s still a level of motivation lacking in company start up plans.  It might just be exhaustion and feeling extremely overwhelmed by all that needs to go into it, but at the same time, I refuse to start a company when I don’t feel 150% in it.  It doesn’t mean I’m not ever going to, but I’m not yet ready to invest all of that time and and energy into it.  I’ll continue to do management freelance and see where the future takes me...
I can’t even begin to describe to you the thoughts running through my head because it’s completely overwhelming me and trying to explain it to someone else, would just be non sense.  I can’t keep up with the thoughts and they run through and I can’t figure out how I feel about some of them that keep lingering around, as part of me can’t even accept that my brain is continuing to think about them and allow them to hang around so long. 
So I was watching the 2005 Commencement Address from Stanford University that Steve Jobs did, which you can find here:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UF8uR6Z6KLc  It’s an amazing speech that I highly recommend you put 15 minutes aside to watch the whole thing.  There were several quotes that caught my attention but this one really hit the core of me: 
“Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle.” - Steve Jobs

Friday, March 18, 2011

Getting to the after

While I’m not done with the remodel yet, I’m definitely getting there.  I don’t want to leave all of you hanging as I’m sure you’re kind of anxious to see the changes, as I’ve been so excited about this.  I had the day off yesterday and spent the majority of the afternoon and early evening, building the last bookshelf and moving all of the furniture around.  I have some cable management that needs to get done (thank you Apple visuals experience...or maybe there’s a sarcastic thanks a lot in there) and additional organizational supplies and curtains that need to be purchased to finish the whole look off but that might take some time.  I’m definitely happy with the direction this is going.  What do you all think?
BEFORE:
 
             


(GETTING TO THE) AFTER:






WHATCHA THINK?!

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Japan Crisis Relief

All we know are the images we see on the internet, on our TVs, in the paper, but none of us can truly know and understand the devastation going on in Japan right now.  It feels like with each day, we are filled with more devastating information and images.  It absolutely breaks my heart and I’m sure it does yours as well.  Not to mention, it makes us feel helpless and wonder how can we help?  
The easiest way that we can help is to make a donation to an organization that is trying to help, like the American Red Cross.  I know there are others also making a difference, and I’m sure you’ll find them if you do a quick Google search, but I’ve seen the American Red Cross in action (after an apartment building in one of my old apartment complexes caught fire, they were there and supporting the affected families) and know my money is going to the right place.
With that said, below are a few ways you can donate to the American Red Cross.  A few of them are fun but still for an amazing cause.
  • Some coworkers of mine are in a band called Colin Green.  They did a remix of the song “We Become Light” for their friends The Secret Satellite.  All proceeds will go to the American Red Cross in support of Japan.  http://bit.ly/WeBecomeLight 
  • If you go into the iTunes store, directly on the home page is a picture that says ‘Japan Earthquake and Tsunami Relief. Donate Here’
  • Text REDCROSS to 90999 to donate $10


I'll pass on the green beer this year...

Call me crazy, but I don’t really feel like celebrating St. Patty’s day this year.  It doesn’t really feel like it.  I mean let’s be honest for a moment, I’m not a crazy partier, so it’s not like I feel like this is my night to go crazy...because it’s not.  I’ve gone out for St. Patty’s day before (and I’m sure I will again) but I generally go to hang out with my friends.  I have to work bright and early Friday morning so if I went out it would consist of waiting in line, having time (maybe) for one drink and then needing to leave.  I’d rather not go through that just to be super exhausted Friday morning. 
My friend Heather is off work at 9 tonight, so instead I’ll go to her place, have a glass of champagne (maybe we’ll drop in a little food coloring), hang out and I can still come home and get some rest before work.  Sounds perfect to me. :)
Besides, St Patrick’s day is weird in LA.  I loved being in Boston for it because even though I was never old enough to go out while I was there, there was a spirit in the air on St Patty’s day.  I’d walk to class at 9AM and there were lines outside of the pubs already.  It was hilarious and awesome to witness.
Anyway, I am slightly Irish, so I guess I should be partaking in some sort of activity huh?  Well I don’t eat meat, so that’s out of the question.  I already said I’m voting out of the green beer, so that’s out.  But what I can do, is try to hunt down some IRISH SODA BREAD!! Mmmm....I think we found ourselves a winner!!  I’m hoping the grocery stores stocked up so that when I walk in post-workout, there’s still some waiting for me.  It might be the only thing I think butter tastes good on (yes, I don’t like butter but we can save that conversation for another day).  
I would also like to start learning to make my own bread (!!).  I’m not sure if I want to do this via bread machine (where would I put one?) or on my own.  Let’s be honest, I’m not sure I have the patience for kneading and making my own bread; I get antsy waiting for the 20 mins to go by for my Trader Joe’s whole wheat pizza dough to set... But, either way, I just think that sounds delicious and fun, and can you imagine how yummy I could make my little apartment smell? AND I COULD MAKE MY OWN IRISH SODA BREAD!!! Mmmmm....


Wednesday, March 16, 2011

The never ending To-Do list...

I feel like my To-Do list is growing at an alarming rate.  And I just can’t keep up as hard as I try.  I’m sure it’s not helped by the project I decided to take on (aka my apartment makeover) but that’s being done in hopes of actually allowing me to be more productive.  And it’s coming together nicely.  Just thinking of how this place will look (and hopefully work and low), gets me inspired and excited.  I’m taking that as a good sign.
All I have to say though, is thank goodness I have tomorrow off!  And I’m pretty sure my day has been taken up already by my to-do list and the hopes of going for a hike with some friends.  Makes me wonder if I’ll have time to relax.  Is it bad when you have to plan time for relaxation?  Yeah...I thought so. 
Things are picking up at work too.  Not that there has been too much of a lull anyway with the launches and such, but one of the other admins is running a few market wide events and then going on vacation so she’ll be out of the store for a few weeks.  We’ll miss her of course, but it’s also going to be a great opportunity to fully take on our role and make the store come to me and the other admin, instead of going to the person they’ve always known in that role (we got added on later). 
I’m also looking forward to some major organizational projects we’re about to take on.  I hope everyone is ready for it because we’re going to shake things up and make this happen.  It won’t be easy and it will be rather time consuming, but hopefully worth it in the long run.  I think the organizational inspiration I’ve been feeling at home is rubbing off at work too...they better watch out! :)

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Letters from Management

A good friend of mine started a blog a few months ago called Letters from Management.    We used to live in the same building (he still lives there), and our manager, while sweet and caring, has quite the personality and is known for leaving some pretty hilarious notes and memos on our doors and around the building.  Since I moved out of the building, I’m pretty sure the letters got funnier and he decided to start a blog to share these letters with everyone.  He’s also made it an open forum, where you can submit the funny letters that your management posts.
While the managers of my building don’t often post letters that are that funny, after getting the carpet steamed yesterday, there was one that made me laugh that I sent over to Dan, which he decided to include on his site.  Make you sure you check it out: http://lettersfrommgmt.wordpress.com/2011/03/14/we-will-find-you/
Anyway, I haven’t received any information back from management about my reduced rent proposal but I have been moving forward in my apartment redecoration, reorganization and remodel.  And I can not describe to you all, just how excited I am about it.  I’ve bought all the “expensive” pieces (aka furniture) and I’ve only used 1/2 of my budget!  I put one of the bookshelves together yesterday and put it in place and it looks amazing! I can’t wait to post my before and after pictures for everyone to see!
In other news, I have a bad feeling about something that I just cant shake. And to make it worse I have no idea what it's about. I have a couple ideas and I don't like either, particularly one. But is this just me being paranoid? Quite possibly. But also possibly not. 
When peoples behavioral change, it's very easy to look into that change to mean something because it often does. Especially of they're afraid of hurting someone or dont know how to handle the situation. But the possibility is still there I dont know what I'm talking about. But let me just say my walls are going up and I'm preparing myself to deal with the worst in any scenario that may come my way right now and figuring out how I can and should handle things. 
But I'm also not enjoying this feeling so I'd really like to find out what's going on so I can deal with it and move on...