I’ve been on this earth for 23 years and yet it STILL surprises me that one day you could be filled with joy and hope and the next day, you’re hiding in the electrical closet at work trying to hide your tears because you’re feeling so overwhelmed with life. I mean, really?! How is that okay? (And no, I don’t expect you to tell me that it is. Because it’s not). My morning was alright. I felt frustrated with a few things but overall I was okay. But I went to lunch and all of a sudden, I was just swept with more emotion than my eyes could handle. I hid in the hallway shivering and eating my lunch and then started to read one of my new books. A coworker came up, asked if I was okay to which I replied “no, but it’s okay” and next thing I knew I had wet spots dropping on my book pages.
I’m not looking for pity. Or for you to worry about me. Because quite honestly, I’ll be okay. As I’ve mentioned before, things are just a little rough right now and I’m struggling and searching to find my way to where I want to be. And where I am happiest. But we are all full of imperfections and insecurities and I’m finding several of mine are surfacing right now, many as a result of the recent events. I hate how much this is getting to me. Especially after I spoke with a coworker who is going through some really rough stuff right now. It makes all my “stuff” seem like petty nonsense. But since it’s what I’m dealing with, it doesn’t appear that way to me.
I’m not really feeling my veggie burger and I burnt the bun. Dinner fail #2 this week. I think yoga, reading and an early nights sleep need to happen. Sometimes that’s the only way to handle a rough day before it can take you down even more.
Here’s to waking up feeling refreshed - physically and mentally.