I feel like I’m having a really strange week. Like my whole “self” feels off. I’m not sure what’s going on but I have to tell you, I don’t like this. It’s like cranky keeps coming by and lingering for awhile, disappears and then comes back. So annoying.
I don’t think allowing my schedule to be adjusted so much is probably helping. I haven’t had a generally consistent schedule this past week and I immediately took my body from working really late hours (like until 3 am, then midnight) almost directly into working mornings again. And the only day I gave it to “adjust” I spent sleeping and being a cranky, lazy bum. I know my body doesn’t handle these sorts of changes, I should know better.
Anyway, Obama was in LA today. Correction: Obama was in my neighborhood today. I did not see him, but he was here and you could feel the stress radiating through people as they imagined their commutes home from the west side. ie: OBAMAJAM in LA! I went into work a little early this morning so that I could leave a little early and I avoided the freeways and made it home in less than 30 minutes! That was definitely good news but I had prepared myself to potentially spend part of the evening in Santa Monica avoiding traffic. I brought my laptop & a book so I could read and blog after work. I also brought along my yoga pants + tank top so I could hit up a yoga studio right on the Promenade that had a class at 6:15 (I forgot my yoga mat but was willing to buy a new one so that I could have a “spare” in my car). I couldn’t commit to the class because if I felt like I should make the run for it if traffic didn’t seem awful and just head home, and obviously that’s what I did. But I also think I got my hopes up about this class and when I got home, I had no direction as to what I should do with my time. I didn’t feel like making dinner so I ate a random assortment of “crap” and then I fell asleep on my couch. Clearly this was not a good move for my mood.
I need to work on that. When I eat poorly, it doesn’t help my mood, it generally makes it worse because I know the food I’m eating isn’t healthy and that I’m probably just eating it as an attempt to comfort myself. That’s such an awful habit and I’m trying very hard to break it. We can look at the upside, at least it’s not drugs. Though sometimes my cravings for sugar feel like what I would imagine a drug addict goes through. Just give me an IV of sugar. ...not really. Please don’t actually do that. That would be bad.
I’m trying to find the root of the problem and snap this week’s cranky mood because it’s getting really annoying. I have too much that I’m trying to work through right now to potentially have some really petty things weighing me down so badly. Watch out people - a new and improved Katie is on the way!!
With that, let’s hope for a better tomorrow. I’ve decided that aside from packing a few snacks, I’m allowing myself to buy lunch tomorrow. Right after work, I’m meeting a friend for a quick vent session before we meet with some more friends for a coworker’s “going away” party. He’s just going to a different store in LA and while I’ll still see him because we’re good friends (or at least I better!!), I’m still sad he won’t be at the store anymore. He gives the best hugs!
And for now - think yoga thoughts and find your balance.