Year End Wrap Up

My goal for 2011 was to focus on myself and find a new level of happiness that I felt was missing in 2010.

I rang in the new year by not doing anything except resting and sleeping.  I didn’t stay up until midnight; I didn’t go out; and I didn’t spend it with anyone.  To some people this may be seen as sad or weird, and while it’s not the way I would choose to ring in each new year, it was just what I needed.  It allowed me to put a close on 2010 and start 2011 the way that I wanted to: refreshed. 

And that was just what I did.  While everyone else was coming in late or hung-over to work that day, I was refreshed, excited and energetic.  I was ready to go and take on whatever may present itself to me that day.  It was perfect.

When I was presented with the opportunity to purchase an unlimited month of yoga at The Yoga Co in Santa Monica, I knew it was something I wanted and should do.  I sat on the deal for a month or so and then was inspired to take it and turn it into one month straight of yoga (My 30 Day Yoga Challenge).  I knew that was going to be a major undertaking but with the support I was receiving from my friends, family and coworkers, I knew it was something I could do.  And I did.

A month of yoga brought upon many challenges and breakthroughs; it brought on a physical and mental struggle; and it brought a community I didn’t know could exist; and it began to show me this new level of happiness.  So when that month was over, I didn’t stop.  I didn’t go everyday but I tried to get there at least 3 days a week.  (And up until the later part of the year, it worked).

This year I learned to let go of some things that had been bothering me and open up my mind and heart to what else is out there.  

And I stepped outside my comfort zone doing something that I’m still surprised I did: I went to the Healthy Living Summit in Philadelphia, PA knowing no one.  This was a big deal for me and very challenging on many levels.  I did what I could to push myself outside my normal comfort zone and met several amazing bloggers and people.  I discovered just how much of a healthy living community there is out there and was inspired and comforted to keep pushing forward in those attempts.

Unfortunately, this was also the weekend that my health took a turn for the worse.  My last night in Philly was the first time I experienced the severe pain on my left side that led to months of unknown, tests, and additional severe pain.  Unfortunately, September through December are a blur of doctor visits, hospital stays, and “resting” on my couch.  I wish I could have a better memory for the end of the year, but it is clear that was what took most of my energy.

That’s not to say no good came of it, because it did.  Through all of that, I was able to find one of the greatest friends I could have and with her support was able to make it through my Thanksgiving in the hospital and two attempts at surgery + recovery.  That I could (and would) not change for anything.

But the year is coming to a close and I’m ready to start 2012 fresh.  I’m hoping my health returns to it’s fullest extent and I continue to work on finding even greater happiness in my life.

Top 3 Most Read Posts:
-30 Day Yoga Challenge - There’s No Better Time Than Now

-Post Challenge Breakthrough #1: Time Spent Alone

-My Announcement

Top 3 Favorite Posts to Write:

-Talk Less, Say More

-The Long Awaited Video

-30 Day Yoga Challenge - There’s No Better Time Than Now

Surfboard Yoga

Happy November!

We’re now officially past Thanksgiving Halloween (good catch Mom!) and time is going to fly through the holiday season; I hope we’re all ready!  I’m still trying to determine my holiday plans but I know I’ll be spending Christmas Day in LA and will probably try to pull together some sort of gathering so no one is left alone.

I haven’t been very good about going to yoga lately.  I’m not okay with this but my schedule has just been so crazy lately that I can’t keep up.  I keep telling myself maybe it’s time to do another 30 Day Yoga Challenge to get myself back into that world and re-ground myself a bit but there’s a certain bit of unknown in the next month that may make it so I wouldn’t be able to complete that challenge.  Therefore, I’m a bit apprehensive to start another challenge.  For now, I’m trying to convince myself to make my way to the studio a few times a week.  I mean, I do pay for it!

When I was walking into the women’s locker room at the gym the other day, I spotted this:

Have you ever heard of surfboard yoga?  Apparently it’s a growing trend to add an extra degree of difficulty and balance to your yoga practice.  (Also known as Paddleboard Yoga.)

While I was standing there watching, one of the girls fell into the water during her sun salutation and had to climb back onto her board, get her balance back and go right into her upward facing dog.  

Watching this play out made me think if I would ever consider trying this?  If you know me, you probably know I’m not one to swim.  I have this insane fear of drowning that probably shows I didn’t allow myself to take enough swim lessons as a kid (I’m sure my parents are reading this going “told you so”).  I’ve had a few people ask me when I’m going to train for a triathlon (WHAT?!) and thankfully I have the swimming excuse to get me through that answer.  But this still looks kind of fun and I love finding new ways to challenge myself in my workout so maybe someday...

(P.S. It’s November 1st and we all know what means - off to the store to get discounted candy!) ;)

Post Challenge Breakthrough #1: Time Spent Alone

I spend a lot of time alone.  Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy my time to myself.  I’m very much an independent person and crave time away from people, to sit in the comfort of my own home in my pajamas and be left alone.  But at the same time, sometimes it gets to be too much time alone, too much time to think, or more like over-think.  Sometimes I think the amount of time I spend alone, is the reason I struggle with some of the things I struggle with.  Sometimes I think it may be the reason I struggle to maintain friendships with people.  I have some amazing friends, they’re just really spread out (as in all over the country).  It makes it great when we finally get to reunite because I know it’s going to be a blast but it makes living in one place difficult.

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I’m a generally quiet person.  If you know me well, if you take the time to get to know me, you’ll learn it can be hard to shut me up at times.  And while I’ve spent my life working to come out of my shell, I’ve also dealt with a lot of heartache and I’ve realized how it’s made me more of a quiet person again, more likely to over-think my every move and word.  Those kinds of behaviors make it hard to show people who I am.  They make it hard for me to really open up to people.  They make it hard for me to say “Hi, my name is Katie. It’s nice to meet you” and take any steps to further a conversation.  I’m not exactly sure when this happened but it’s been one of those things that I’ve thought a lot about but have always been afraid to share.

I’m an emotional person.  I cry and I cry easily.  I cry when I’m hurt, happy, frustrated, excited, whatever.  It’s very easy to bring tears to my eyes.  It’s difficult to admit because I know so many people see tears as a sign of weakness but for me, it’s a sign of my passion.  A passion for everything I do and a passion for every person in my life that I allow close enough to see the real me and who choose to stay a part of my life and allow me to see the real them.

Why am I sharing this?  This isn’t meant to be a sad post, though it may seem this way at first glance.  I’ve spent the last 30 days taking 90 minutes every.single.day to focus on me and my breath.  In learning these habits, I’ve been able to get a clearer view on myself and my life and what I need and would like to be happier and live a more fulfilling life.  And one of those things is to work on my friendships.  I want to repair frayed relationships; I want to tighten strong friendships; and most importantly, I want to build new friendships.

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I see other’s friendships and can’t help but feel a tingle of jealousy.  I have some amazing friends, please don’t get me wrong.  And to my friends out there reading this, please don’t be offended by our friendships and take this the wrong way.  But as I said, I spend a lot of time alone and I want to change that.  I want to feel more open and willing to spend time with other people.  I want to build strong friendships (and strengthen existing ones) to create a support group in LA, as I hope this will be one thing to help me feel happier and more at home out here.  

And believe it or not, I kind of want a roommate.  Living alone has so many upsides, but it also has it’s downsides.  I can’t tell you how easy it is to come home after a long day, put on my yoga pants and crash on my couch and not move for the remainder of the evening until I eventually fall asleep on the couch, only to wake up a few hours later and move to my bed.  This is a daily occurrence in my apartment.  But it’s also one that has made me spend even more time alone because it makes me too lazy to go out and meet people.  And all that time alone can bring about some major loneliness.  But my history with roommates (aside from the ever amazing roomie Justine!), has me hesitant to live with people but I think it’s time to reconsider.  I think it’s time to open myself up to the potential struggle of living with others and embrace the challenge and money saving opportunities.  You never know until you try.  And as long as I have my own bathroom, I’m open.

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Mission Accomplished!!

Did you expect anything different? :)

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30 Days in a row. 90 mins per day.  2,700 minutes total.

That’s a lot of yoga.  That’s a lot of breathing.  That’s a lot of healing.

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And I must tell you, I feel amazing!

I definitely ended on a great note with an amazing class this evening.  I wish we were downstairs so it would have been heated but despite there only being three students, the room sure did get warm and I sweat, which is always the goal when I work out.  (No, I’m clearly not one of those people at the gym who is afraid of sweating.  I want to sweat.  It gives me a sense of accomplishment in what I’m doing.  Sorry...But at least I clean my machines when I’m done sweating all over them!) 

Anyway, I have to tell you this was such an amazing experience!  It wasn’t easy but at the same time, it was because my heart was so in it.  I wanted the challenge and variety added to my workout but I also wanted the mental clarity associated with yoga.  And the best way to see benefits from something like this, is to truly commit and make a habit out of it.  So I did.  And quite honestly, it saved my life.  I fear writing that last statement and freaking everyone out because I know the initial thoughts that just popped in everyone’s heads and it wasn’t in that kind of way.  But rather in the way that I learned to take control of my life, my thoughts and how best to deal with stress and fear - just BREATHE!  If you’re someone who knows me well (and even if you aren’t), you’ve probably witnessed the anxiety, stress and fear that I used to allow to consume me at times.  I’m not okay with that; I was never okay with that, I just didn’t know how to deal with it.

Solution: Breathe through it.  Breathe through it all.  And when you feel like you can’t push one bit further, breathe again.

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It works.  I’m now an advocate and you will find me telling you to keep breathing any time I sense your stress, fear, anxiety, sadness, whatever it may be.  If I need to, I will go a step further and stick my phone in front of your face and make you breathe along with the “My Calm Beat” app that helps you regulate your breath.  (I’m sure it does more than that, but that’s about all I’ve taken the time to figure out/use it for.)

In the past 30 days, I’ve become more positive.  I’m not exactly sure when the change occurred, but the important fact is that it did.  I became wiser.  And the only way I know this is because I can now look back on parts of my life in a clearer mindset and see how I’ve removed myself from the rubble.  I can confidently tell you, it will get better.  All you have to do, is breathe and make a conscious effort to move forward.  When you come back to me and tell me “it’s easier said than done,” I can agree and say “I know, I’ve been there.  I made it through, so can you.”

I’ve often told you all that not every day is a good day; we all know this.  We know to expect it but the key to these bad days is to look at them in just that way - A bad day.  ONE bad day.  ONE bad day in the midst of many good days.  And stop and think about it, how many bad days do you remember?  Like specifics that made it so terrible?  ...that’s what I thought.  There are very few.  And the ones you remember, it’s probably because of a significant thing (a break-up, death in the family, or some other major event).  Not because someone cut you off in traffic.  Not because your boss or coworker pissed you off that day.  Not because you felt fat.  You don’t remember those days.  You know they happened, but you don’t actually remember them.  Why? Because they aren’t important!  They aren’t what makes you YOU.

Over the last 30 days, I pushed through more of the hurt of losing the band.  I pushed through the feeling of loss and unknown in my life that overtook me after I lost them.  I decided that I needed to create a new plan for myself.  I decided that I could create a career, a life that included all of my passions, not just one.  I signed up to go back to school; I bought my textbook, notebook and pens (nerd); I told everyone all about it and I have received a tremendous amount of support.  I couldn’t be more excited about what is in store.

As I finished off this 30 Day Yoga Challenge today, I found myself a mix of giddy and nervous.  I was excited to be able to say I did it and then work to finding the right balance of yoga, running, lifting and misc cardio in my life.  But I was nervous - part because I was afraid something would happen making me miss my class (getting stuck at work, class being cancelled, something).  But also nervous for the “after.”  I’ve spent the last 30 days going to yoga every.single.day.  It became part of my daily routine; part of my life, so there’s definitely a fear that I may not be able to maintain the same mental balance that I’ve developed the last 30 days.  I guess this is where the real challenge actually begins.  But since The Yoga Collective is having a summer special of $49 unlimited/month until September, I can find the money to continue through the summer - not everyday, but 3 or so days/week and then continue my 20-30 minute sessions at home on those other days. 

As class was slowing down today, I found myself smiling.  I was proud of how close I was.  I found myself super relaxed and smiling while in Savasana.  And when class ended, I had a great conversation with the instructor, Brianna, about yoga for people with Scoliosis.  (I’ve been going to several of her classes and today she came over to me for adjustment and asked if I had a curvature in my spine and adjusted me to where it would be better for my back - it was amazing!)  I guess she went to a workshop this weekend about “Yoga for Scoliosis” and was just beaming with excitement and information.  She recommended a book which I’m definitely going to have to check out but it was just an amazing way to end the class and to end the challenge - with a feeling of community and connection.  I grabbed my stuff and as I was walking out, one of the other ladies in my class told me to “have a good rest of the weekend.”  Why is it that something that simple, can make you feel so good?  I was walking down the stairs from the building, out the front door and to my car with tears in my eyes.  I’m proud.  And I feel amazing!

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Challenges

I can't even finish a challenge before a new one begins...

Before you think I've gone totally crazy, I didn't decide to do it this way. Granted I did pick the date for the yoga challenge to start, I felt like there was "no better time than now" and I'm so glad I decided to do it when I did. I'm not going to go into the details about how it went because it's only day 28, so I'm not done receiving the benefits. (though please note I won't stop once the challenge is over, I just won't go day after day making yoga my main source of exercise.)

Well I'm sure at this point you're wondering what the new challenge is...

One of my favorite benefits working for Apple is their support for maintaining health, whether that be exercise, quitting smoking, etc. 

Last year they teamed up with Nike for a 6 week "cardio challenge" where you used the Nike + app and sensor to track your mileage walking or running.  Well they did it again this year for the iWalk I did a few weeks ago and then for another round of the cardio challenge.  It started this Monday with a week of overlap and boy my body is feeling it already! 

Yesterday I did a 4 mile run + 90 min yoga class and when I tried to run a 2 miler this morning, my body quickly decided that wasn't going to happen.  1 mile later, I was moving myself over to a stationary bike for the remainder of my sweat session. 

My body is still tired....

I hope I can make it up tomorrow morning for another run. I don't want to get behind my 75 mile goal!! 

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