Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Ready


I’m ready to work out again.  Maybe not physically, but mentally I’m ready.  I could use the endorphin kick and added energy (especially since I’m not supposed to have much caffeine while on antibiotics - and because I don’t want to get this ever again, you better believe I’m following instructions).  I’m reading for the overall improved mood and sleep.  And I’m ready to feel strong again.
I’m listening to the doctors and I’m not willing to over-exert myself as I know that won’t help anything in the long run but I’m ready to get back in the gym and yoga studio.  I’m ready to get back to my normal life and routine.  I’m ready to get back to myself.



Tuesday, November 29, 2011

my papa


Last week was rough and unfortunately, it wasn’t only due to my health.  The night before my parents flew out to LA, they called to let me know my grandfather wasn’t in good shape and was going quickly.  He assured them he wasn’t giving up but it was clear he was tired and ready to go.
My parents arrived at the hospital Wednesday evening and only an hour or so after, got the call that my grandpa had passed.  My dad immediately began making the necessary calls, my mom called my sister and I sat trying to just take in everything that was going on around me, including accepting that my health was going to keep me from being able to say goodbye to him.
My sister wrote about the 4th of July parade when my grandpa wore his old uniform and all of the vets walking in the parade would come up to him and shake his hand.  It was the cutest thing and I knew he was so happy inside.
I remember Christmas as a kid and all of his cool trains going around the tree.  And I remember when my grandma was in her last moments and after she passed, just how much he truly loved her (despite their fighting) as he would not leave her side.  It was the sweetest and most heart-breaking thing.  And of course, how could you forget the amazing cakes he would decorate for my birthday every year as a kid.  My favorite?  Probably the Barbie doll cake he had to make year after year because I loved it so much.
And I’m pretty sure when you think “cute grandpa” it’s my grandpa that you’d think of.


rip papa.
My grand parents 
My papa and I at my college graduation party

Pops with some of the fam

I’m sorry I can’t be there to say goodbye.

Monday, November 28, 2011

Number of Times Poked


It was a crazy week.  So much so that I don’t really know where to begin.  But I guess the beginning is always the best place.
Last Sunday morning (the 20th) I woke up with the previous night’s headache in full migraine mode and a 100*+ fever.  I tried to go to work only to be immediately sent away.  Thank goodness.  I went back to sleep and spent the day taking pain medications and trying to force my fever down.  I assumed I was just stressed with the next day’s procedure looming.
I woke up Monday morning and the migraine was still there.  I had a bit of an upset stomach but again I was placing all blame on nerves and mild anxiety.  I took the hottest shower I could stand to try to loosen tight muscles in my neck and shoulders to ease my migraine.  The shower was hotter than I could take and had to splash myself with cool water as I could feel myself nearly blacking out as I got out of the shower.
Amy picked me up and we headed off to the hospital.  She kept me sane and as calm as possible.  I informed the nurses I had a migraine but as my fever had surprisingly returned, now pushing 101*+, they became very concerned.  They took blood and immediately hooked me up to an IV of fluid.  When my white blood cell count came back over 30,000, I was informed surgery was cancelled.  (Don’t ask me what your white blood cell count should be but 30,000 is NOT good - that much I was able to gather).
We spent 7 hours in the hospital as I was pumped with more and more fluids, given pain medications and antibiotics.  I was sent home with the instruction to keep an eye on my temp and if it went back up, head immediately to the ER, otherwise, I was to see my primary doctor in the morning.
It was the longest night I can remember.  While my fever stayed reasonable throughout the night, I had the worst pain in my abdomen and spent the whole night sick.  After a 6:30AM crying call to my dad, more sick, I was back in the doctor’s office, hardly able to walk at this point.
They thought it was my appendix and they were preparing pre-op for my arrival as I headed to get a CT scan to confirm.  We spent hours waiting and while it was not my appendix, I was still informed to head directly to the hospital as I was going to be admitted for several days.  There was an infection that took over my entire digestive track that the CT scan detected and according to the 3 doctors watching over me, it was “really scary.”  My parents flew out here and I had friends visiting as I spent Tuesday-Friday on additional antibiotics, non-stop fluids and whatever food from the BRAT (bananas, rice, applesauce, toast) diet I could keep down.


I was finally set free released Friday afternoon and while I’m still not able to work out (next week, fingers crossed), I’ve returned to work and I’m slowly gaining back my energy and strength.  The end is near.
We also took the opportunity to count the number of times I was poked with a needle between Monday and Friday, either to take blood, inject an antibiotic, or set me up with a new IV: 11.  I have bruises and a tally to prove it.


(And I’ll return to my other doctor next week and begin the process of rescheduling my procedure, but at least now we have confirmation from the CT scan that it’s a cyst, not a potential tumor.) 

Music Monday


When you fall asleep around 8 every night due to mere exhaustion from being sick and you’re waking up every 6 hours to take more medication, then your body gets used to waking you up at the wee hours of the morning ready to go (more on that to come).  And when I woke up this morning, I found myself in the mood to put up a few Christmas decorations + my tree.  So I did.
And now that I’ve finished and I have a lit up tree staring at me while I eat my breakfast, I’m on the search for a few new Christmas songs.  I ran across “Christmas Lights” by Coldplay.  It’s really kind of pretty.  If you listen to the lyrics, it’s a bit of a heartache but it’s Coldplay meets Christmas, was new to me and may be new to you too.  


Plus I like the video. :)

Saturday, November 26, 2011

The Silence Has Broken

I promise I'm still here. I promise I haven't left. And I promise I'll fill you in on the last week or so of my life since I went MIA.

But it's not going to be right now.

Exhaustion in all forms has filled my body and what I need right now is a good nights sleep because I will be making the gallant effort of returning to work in the morning.

Good night friends.

Saturday, November 19, 2011

A Good Day


Let me start by saying if you’re wondering what happened to yesterday’s Fitness Friday, I was in too much pain to do anything and quite honestly, there was nothing to report from last week.  I did yoga 2x and that’s it...

After yesterday, I was so happy that I could walk when I woke up this morning and the pain had returned to a level that I could control, despite still being pretty severe.  I got concerned when I thought I was going to get sick after 1 bite of toast so I headed into work on an empty stomach.  And just to top if off, I took 2 puffs of my rescue inhaler and I’m still having trouble breathing.  I also had a pounding headache and 2 ibuprofen every 4-6 hours is not going to combat all that my body is enduring.  
I had a busy and productive morning, a good lunch and followed it up with a busy and productive afternoon.  Next thing I knew, I looked up and it was already a few minutes after 5 and I was supposed to leave.
I’d received tons of support and well wishes today and I tackled my ToDo list, feeling good about where I’ll be leaving things before I head out for the week.  At the end of the (work) day, I’d call it a good day.  I’m always talking about how it’s the little things and this is no different.  I couldn’t be more thankful for an overall good day.
And just in case you haven’t had a good day, here’s a few cartoons to give you a laugh:



Source
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Every Thanksgiving we take time to express our gratitude and thanks for all we have been blessed with in our lives.  But this month, I teamed up with my good friend for the month of November with what we’re calling the #GratefulSeason.  What are you grateful for?

Friday, November 18, 2011

When even walking's hard to do

It's taking all that I have today to remain positive and remind myself I'm just 3 days away. Pain is radiating throughout my body without a moments relief that walking has become a chore.

It all started during my 1:30am wake-up call this morning and has just kept pushing strong. Thankfully I was able to get myself to true grocery store earlier for a few things for next week and some much needed love: flowers.

Because its the little things and there's nothing wrong with a girl buying herself flowers.


Every Thanksgiving we take time to express our gratitude and thanks for all we have been blessed with in our lives.  But this month, I teamed up with my good friend for the month of November with what we’re calling the #GratefulSeason.  What are you grateful for?

Thursday, November 17, 2011

A Taste of Fall


I know I’ve mentioned it before but Fall is one of my favorite seasons.  I love the slight chill in the air that makes you want to wear a sweater and hold onto a hot cup of coffee or cider.  And I love how the colors on the leaves change to reds, yellows and oranges.
It’s one of the things I miss by living in LA as there are hardly season changes and you’re lucky if you may run across a strip of trees that have decided to slightly change colors.  But this is rare.  And to be honest, I’m pretty sure since moving out here over 2 years ago, I don’t remember seeing any trees change significant color....
Until tonight.
I decided to take a different way home tonight and as I was driving I realized I had a smile on my face in admiration of the trees I was passing.  Part of me wanted to stop, take a few pictures and soak in the beauty but there was a part of me that was way too hungry to stop for anything unless it was food. 


And then as I was stopped at a nearby light, I was next to another gorgeous tree.  It may not be as beautiful as the ones I had just driven past but it’s still beautiful.  I’m so grateful for this little taste of fall as it’s the little things in life.  And tonight, it was just what I needed. 
Every Thanksgiving we take time to express our gratitude and thanks for all we have been blessed with in our lives.  But this month, I teamed up with my good friend for the month of November with what we’re calling the #GratefulSeason.  What are you grateful for?

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

A Much Needed Slap in the Face


Sometimes we all just need a slap in the face.  Not literally, so put your paws down!  But a figurative slap in the face; a friendly little reminder.  And this morning I got mine.
Despite taking this month to participate in the GratefulSeason, I’m still dealing with the looming procedure coming on Monday and everything that comes with it, both mentally and physically.  I’ve been doing my best to remain positive and stop my mind from over-thinking and over-worrying for something that may very well just be minor, but this is me we’re talking about and despite my best efforts, I still find myself at times all worked up over it.
Well I woke up this morning and as I’m laying in bed trying to get the energy to move, I decided to check my horoscope and this is what it said:

Slap!
While I’ve been doing better lately (for the most part at least), I still needed that reminder as the nerves are setting in more as Monday is quickly approaching.
Every Thanksgiving we take time to express our gratitude and thanks for all we have been blessed with in our lives.  But this month, I teamed up with my good friend for the month of November with what we’re calling the #GratefulSeason.  What are you grateful for?

Foodie for a Day


I had a plan for today’s post to be a homemade chili recipe but then I got sick and then I worked 12 hours yesterday and suddenly I realized that was out of the question because the chili recipe hadn’t actually been made yet.  Funny how that works.
My other plan was to bake something with the open can of pumpkin in my fridge;  maybe protein bars; maybe muffins; maybe bread.  Well the above road block also kept this from happening.  Funny how that works.
But I do want to share something I’m really excited about...
A couple months ago there was a Living Social deal for Farm Fresh to You.  Basically by paying $15, I got just over $30 of fresh local produce delivered right to my door.  This was such an exciting deal to me, yet for some reason I had yet to actually use the deal and have been getting my reminders that I need to use it.  Knowing that next week I’ll pretty much be stuck in my apartment, it seemed like the perfect week to finally use the deal.
So on Friday I will have a delivery of fresh fruit (I chose fruit over this weeks fruit + veggie box) and I couldn’t be more excited!
I can’t wait to share my box of fruit with you all (you won’t actually get any, but I’ll take pictures... ;)

Source


Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Time


It’s been one of those days where it just feels like there isn’t enough time in the day.  Work went by much quicker than I wanted (and needed) it to and despite staying a bit late to get a few more things done, I still feel like my ToDo list is long for everything I want to get done.  I think it’s gearing up for being away next week and wanting to make sure I’m setting my team up for success so that I’m not sitting on my couch trying to relax and recover worrying about them.  (As many times as they will tell me to not worry about them and focus on myself, I just can’t help it.  I’m a workaholic, okay?!)
But time is so precious.  Whether you want to look at it in the grand scheme of things or just day to day.
I came home from work and immediately started writing out my ToDo list for the next week.  Thankfully I’ve been able to tackle quite a bit but again, suddenly it’s after 10PM and I have yet to do a quick 20 mins of yoga or finish several other things I wanted to do tonight.
But not to fret, I’m grateful for the time that I have and since I’m using it well and being super productive, at the end of the day (which it is now), I know I will fall asleep feeling good about my day. :)

Source
Every Thanksgiving we take time to express our gratitude and thanks for all we have been blessed with in our lives.  But this month, I teamed up with my good friend for the month of November with what we’re calling the #GratefulSeason.  What are you grateful for?

Monday, November 14, 2011

Music Monday - Florence and the Machine


Have you heard the new Florence & the Machine album, Ceremonials?  Because if you haven’t, I’m pretty sure you need to log-in to your Spotify account and take a listen.  I’m pretty sure you’ll end up buying it like I’m planning to shortly.
I heard the single, "Shake it Out", on the radio a few weeks ago and have been looking forward to the new album ever since.  And thankfully, the album does not disappoint.
So after you enjoy this video, make sure you continue on to find the album.  Seriously, you’ll like it.



The Clothing Cycle


I have this agreement with myself that every time I buy myself new clothes, I find some clothes I don’t wear anymore (whether they don’t fit, fit funny or I just don’t like it anymore) to donate to those who are in need.  Remember: one person’s “trash” is another person’s “treasure.”
After my mini Target shopping trip last week, I did a little rummaging through my dresser drawers and found a few long sleeved shirts I haven’t, nor intend to wear.  I’m grateful that I have clothes to put on my back everyday and that I can replace when needed and generally, when I want to.  I understand that not everyone is that lucky and that’s why I set myself to the standard that when I get new clothes, it’s to replace the old stuff that I no longer wear.
At the end of the day, it also gives me a warm fuzzy feeling inside.


Every Thanksgiving we take time to express our gratitude and thanks for all we have been blessed with in our lives.  But this month, I teamed up with my good friend for the month of November with what we’re calling the #GratefulSeason.  What are you grateful for?

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Crawling into bed


I had all intentions of posting yesterday but when my 5am-2pm shift became a 5am-11am after being sent home sick, I spent the remainder of the day in bed.  Moving from my bed usually meant I was about to get sick, needed more water or was going to try food again.  The idea of sitting up long enough to write a post or having my computer sit on my belly while I typed in bed just didn’t sound like a good idea.  I’ll spare you the details but it appears my body is not cut out for strong pain medications.  So far Darvocet and Vicodin make up the list.
I had to call out of work today as my body was still not recovered and at least at 8:30PM, I can say I’ve successfully eaten several crackers, a bowl of cereal and another handful of dry cereal.  Thank goodness!  I’m hoping it stays that way and tomorrow I continue down the road to recovery because I have my pre-surgery doctor’s appointment in the morning and while I can spend the rest of the day relaxing and taking it easy, I don’t want to miss anymore time from work before I’m away for surgery.
Well I’m making this a quick one tonight because while it’s still rather early, I’d like to get back into bed, read and fall asleep.  It is super cheesy of me to be grateful the past two days for my bed?  Since I’ve been under the weather, it’s okay though right?
Ehh, think whatever you want - I'm crawling into bed. G'night.



Friday, November 11, 2011

Raindrops


There’s a place and a time for a little retail therapy and today after work was one of those times.  I was in pretty severe pain but I also didn’t want to go home, sit on my couch and end up falling asleep.  (I was up at 3AM and have to be tomorrow as well, so there are to be no naps so I can sleep tonight).
I’m not one for flavored coffee but I tried a sample of Target’s Pumpkin Spice coffee a couple weeks ago and at least when mixed 50 flavored/50 regular coffee, it was pretty yummy.  I’m guessing it was the aroma that got me while still allowing the strength of the regular.  But I’ve been craving it in my coffee since the sample ran out so I decided heading to Target to at least get coffee would be something.
Well something turned into a few somethings, but they’re rather cute if I do say so myself. :)

Don't worry, I don't plan to wear the sweater with those pants but I think with some dark skinny jeans they'd be adorable!
I’m not one who goes shopping very often (or if I do, I rarely leave with anything) and when I do, lately it’s been something from Target.  I think their clothing options are getting pretty good while still being affordable.  I know I’m not the most fashionable girl but I’m trying to slowly update my wardrobe to be more than my usual jean + t-shirts without breaking the bank and still being comfortable.  I’ve also been really happy with most of the clothes I’ve purchased from Target lately in terms of quality, price and style so don’t even think about hating! (Geez, you'd think Target was sponsoring my life.  They're not. ...Target?!)
Anyway, as I sit here writing this post I have the most beautiful soundtrack in the background - rain hitting the ground, windows, and roof.  I really do love weather changes, especially rain!  And tonight the sound of the rain to relax me, is just what I’m grateful for because as I’ve said numerous times: it’s the little things. 
P.S. Happy 11.11.11.  Did you make a wish at 11:11? 



Fitness Friday


Sat 11/5/11
4.3 miles/45 mins run (53 mins w/ warm-up and cool down)
15 mins abs and stretch
Sun 11/6/11
Rest
Mon 11/7/11
90 mins yoga
Tues 11/8/11
30 mins/3 mile run (45 mins w/ warm-up and cool down)
Wed 11/9/11
90 mins yoga
Thurs 11/10/11
20 min/2 mile run (30 mins w/ warm-up and cool down)
25 mins legs and stretch
Fri 11/11/11
Rest
It’s nice to see the return of yoga in my workouts again isn’t it?  Now to just keep working on that whole yoga/lift/run/cross-train balance thing some more....
Happy Friday!


Thursday, November 10, 2011

Sitting outside my door...


I’ll be honest: I was a big cranky girl today.  I woke up, went to the gym and felt great.  I got to work and somehow only a couple hours in and I was losing my grip so fast that I had trouble wheeling myself back in.  A few hugs from friends and another viewing of the Jimmy Kimmel Halloween Candy skit and I had smiles on my face, but for whatever reason it couldn’t bring me back in enough and the cranky mood would return.
I got home from work an hour and a half later than I should and any desire to cook dinner was out the door (thank you popcorn!).  But what was sitting by my door was a box with the brand new shoes I ordered from Finish Line only 2 days ago!  This made me so happy.
I have an early morning tomorrow (3 am wake-up call!) so I pulled out my clothes for tomorrow and sat the shoes by my purse ready for when it’s time to leave.  I’m excited to wear them tomorrow and I hope my feet will be as happy as I hope they’ll be.
Sometimes it’s the little things that can pull us out of even the deepest hole.  And tonight, I couldn’t be more grateful for that.
Aren't these cute? Nike Free - Livestrong!

**After reading my good friend’s blog the other week, she decided that for the month of November, she’s posting something she’s grateful for; something as simple as a picture or quote or possibly something lengthy.  In the month that we come together and share what we’re grateful and thankful for, there seems to be no better way.  And it’s with that that I have decided to join her.  Will you join us? #gratefulseason

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

A Day Off


Today wasn’t one of those days where the pain was stabbing but rather dull and achy, where it feels like it’s exhausting my whole body, making me light headed and tired.  I wish I knew how to better describe all this pain, but honestly, I can’t.  I wish I could talk about other things and while I know I can, this is still a big part of my life and what’s going on that it’s hard to not talk about it.
In 5 days we prepare.  In 12 days we hope to come out with answers.  That doesn’t seem too long.  In fact that seems fairly manageable and may have just made me feel a bit better. (HA!)
But really, the best part of today was having the day off.  Days off exist because our bodies need that time to relax and refresh.  Today that was needed.
I was able to start my day with a delicious breakfast and followed up with yoga.  It had been awhile since I’d been to one of Gigi’s classes (or had even seen her!) and it felt so good to be in her contagious presence.  My afternoon proceeded with a couple errands, cleaning the kitchen and reading.  It felt good to just sit down on my couch and relax.  I have more things I could have done with my day and would have liked to have done but I don’t care, because this was what was needed.  Time for me and a day off.

Source

**After reading my good friend’s blog the other week, she decided that for the month of November, she’s posting something she’s grateful for; something as simple as a picture or quote or possibly something lengthy.  In the month that we come together and share what we’re grateful and thankful for, there seems to be no better way.  And it’s with that that I have decided to join her.  Will you join us? #gratefulseason

Foodie for a Day


I’m due for a trip to the grocery store.  Not because I actually need more food in this house but because I’m out of bananas.  I eat the same thing for breakfast everyday and I haven’t been able to the past couple days because I’m out of bananas.  This is usually what happens and then I leave the grocery store with $40 worth of food. (I’m working on being better about that).
But since there weren’t even any bananas in the freezer this morning, I had to get creative.  No cereal.  Didn’t really want oats.  Cold yogurt didn’t sound appealing.  
Then I remembered I had some end pieces of bread in the freezer waiting for a french toast meal.  I guess that’s what’s for breakfast.
I don’t really eat eggs (only when baked into something and even then, hardly ever) so I don’t keep them on hand.  I did a quick search for a vegan french toast recipe and found several that called for flour, non-dairy milk, vanilla, cinnamon and sugar.  Easy enough.

Whisk them all together.  (I used about a cup of soy milk, tsp vanilla, tsp sugar, 1/2 tsp cinnamon and less than a tbsp flour - there was to be no measuring this morning.)

I then let the bread soak in the mixture (defrosted the bread first, of course).

Cook it in a pan coated in vegan butter.

Slathered on some peanut butter, pumpkin butter and a drizzle of maple syrup.
Mmm Mmm goooooood!

While this was delicious, I’m stopping at the grocery store this afternoon because I already miss my usual breakfast.  All these other options yield too many dishes... ;)

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Caught in the act


Someone fell on their run this morning.
That someone was me.
Thankfully nothing was hurt except for my ego (and a few scrapes).


Then my annoyance surged when I opened my mail to see a notice of delinquent renewal from the state of California.  Apparently, even when they don’t send you the first notice letting you know, it’s still delinquent.  Even when they don’t update your address after you had done it in the system, it’s still your fault.  And what you get in return is another $88 tacked on and an hour long hold if you want to complain.
Starting to think it’s not worth it.  But my bank account thinks differently.
But I know what I need to do is just breathe, because it’s not worth it.  I have better things to focus my energy towards.
Change your thoughts; change your life.
Thankfully as I was working myself into such a rage of anger, I was able to recognize it wasn’t healthy, it wasn’t the way I wanted my day to go or the feeling I wanted to carry with me.  Instead, I’m going to figure out how to move forward.  Yes this is going to set me back (another) good chunk of money but I’ll deal as I always do.
Sometimes we need to stop ourselves mid-reaction and realize if it’s healthy or worth the energy.  I have so many things I want to do with my life that worrying, frustration and anger, aren't worth more than a few moments.  There’s only room for positivity, love and happiness.
I’m always grateful when I’m able to realize and stop this kind of reaction before I let it completely take me over.  And right now, I have a peanut butter sandwich, hot cup of coffee and Harry Potter 5 waiting for me downstairs to enjoy before work.

Source


**After reading my good friend’s blog the other week, she decided that for the month of November, she’s posting something she’s grateful for; something as simple as a picture or quote or possibly something lengthy.  In the month that we come together and share what we’re grateful and thankful for, there seems to be no better way.  And it’s with that that I have decided to join her.  Will you join us? #gratefulseason