What I Be

Have you ever heard of the ‘What I Be’ project by Ganesh Photography in Davis, CA?  I happened to run across it on Facebook this morning and just had to take the opportunity to share this with everyone.  They have several albums on their Facebook page and I highly recommend taking the time to check them out.  They’re absolutely beautiful photographs with an even better message.  Below are a couple pictures from the 'What I Be' Project.

"I am not my anxiety" : Source

"I am not my uncertainty" : Source

And while I’m not a fan of Lady Gaga, I do like the message behind her single “Born This Way.”  And quite honestly, that’s it.  Hate the video and hate the way she sings the song.  Only like the message behind the lyrics.  But that’s something.

If you haven't noticed, my brain has been on the wavelength of empowerment and self-improvement lately.  I'm trying not to let the anxiety of the unknown overcome me and take each day as it presents itself to me and approach life with a clear mind.  This is the only way to move on and deal with things that have happened that throw you off track (like a change in your career - please note I did not say change of career).  I'm working every day on my positive outlook on the world.  And as I've mentioned, some days are good days, some days are bad days.

Day 1 - Love Flow

I can’t promise you that I’ll blog about each day’s yoga session, as I fear I’d bore you or annoy you, but I do promise I’ll do yoga each day for the next 30 days.  And if I don’t, I’ll tell you (as I better have a good reason for it!) and I’ll probably fill you in on a few of my classes too.

A couple weeks ago, I bought a deal through Living Social for The Yoga Collective which is on the Promenade in Santa Monica.  Since I work nearby and it’s not super far from home, it’s perfect for me to be able to fit into my schedule (before/after work, days off, etc).  I went to a Thanksgiving session with Justine in the fall when they used to be called YogaCo and were all donation based.  They’re no longer donation based so this deal was perfect timing!

I have been browsing their schedule for the last week or so and figuring out which classes catch my interest.  In no way am I an advanced yogi; I’m sure I fall into level 1/2 beginner/intermediate.  There was a class this evening called “Love Flow” listed as “all levels” - generally this means I’m going to struggle a bit but should be able to make it through.  It was actually right up my skill level!  And it wasn’t super slow or fast - right at my pace.  The class only had about 7 people and it made for a great environment and experience.  It also meant more personalized attention so if something was off, you knew Ciara would be over to help you fix it.  And if you were doing well, she’d let you know too.  It was empowering.

I’m not one for a lot of chanting and “om”s and while we ended this class with a chant, it was short and felt powerful.  I left with a smile on my face, sweat dripping off my forehead and feeling optimistic for the month of yoga I have ahead of me.

I often get really nervous before yoga classes.  I’ve never quite been able to figure it out, but I do.  I think part of it is the unknown of the class ahead - will I be able to do this class?  will it be too advanced for me? will I embarrass myself when everyone can do a pose but I can’t? will this class be too fast? too slow? too many chants?  But either way, the ambiance, support and energy when you enter the room and begin the flow, it suddenly all melts away.  I’m there to learn and improve my yoga practice.  No one expects me to be perfect, just to try.  It’s a beautiful thing.

And while I know I’ll probably get a little nervous before I enter tomorrow’s yoga practice, right now I am so excited I can’t decide on which class I want to take! 

30 Day Yoga Challenge Day 1 - SUCCESS!!

I know this was short notice, but did anyone decide to join me? 

Yes, I was doing this this evening - Shoulder Stand Pose : Source

Just Stand Up!

The lyrics posted below are for “Just Stand Up”, a collaboration between Carrie Underwood, Rihanna, Fergie, Mary J Blige, Leona Lewis, Beyonce, Sheryl Crow, Miley Cyrus, Keyshia Cole, LeAnn Rimes, Natasha Bedingfield and I might be missing a few.  But whether you like each of these artists individually or not, the song is beautiful and the meaning behind it is even better.

While this song was written and promoted for the Stand Up! to Cancer organization, the lyrics are fitting for whatever you’re going through.  On the day that I’m choosing to begin my 30 Day Yoga Challenge, this song came on my iTunes library randomly and it felt very fitting.  I had to find the lyrics and post for everyone to see.  Keep this thought with you everyday:  “You don't gotta be a prisoner in your mind, if you fall, dust if off, you can live your life” (can you say new mantra?!)

Just Stand Up
Every thing will be alright, yeah
The heart is stronger
Than you think
It's like it can go
Through anything
And even when you think
It can't it finds a way
To still push on
Though

Sometimes
You want to run away
Ain't got the patience
For the pain
And if you
Don't believe it
Look into
Your heart
The beat goes on


I'm tellin' you
Things get better
Through whatever
If you fall
Dust it off
Don't let up
Don't you know
You can go
Be your own miracle
You need to know...

If the mind
Keeps thinking
You've had enough
But the heart
Keeps telling you
Don't give up

Who are we to be
Questioning
Wondering what is what
Don't give up
Through it all
Just stand up

It's like
We all have better days
Problems getting all up
In your face
Just because
You go through it
Don't mean it got
To take control, no
You ain't gotta find
No hiding place
Because the heart
Can beat the hate
Don't wanna
Let your mind
Keep playin' you
And sayin' you
Can't go on


I'm tellin' you
Things get better
Through whatever
If you fall 
Dust if off
Don't let up 
Don't you know you
Can go

Be your own
Miracle
You need to know

If the mind
Keeps thinking
You've had enough
But the heart
Keeps telling you
Don't give up
Who are we to be
Questioning
Wondering what is what
Don't give up
Through it all
Just stand up

You don't gotta be
A prisoner
In your mind
If you fall
Dust it off
You can live your life
Yeah

Let your heart
Be your guide
Yeah, yeah, yeah
And you will know
That you're good
If you trust in the good
Everything
Will be alright, yeah
Light up the dark
If you follow your heart
And it will get better
Through whatever

If the mind
Keeps thinking
You've had enough
But the heart
Keeps telling you
Don't give up
Who are we to be
Questioning
Wondering what is what
Don't give up
Through it all
Just stand up

You got it in you
Find it within
You got in ya
Find it within now
You got in you
Find it within
You got in ya
Find it within now
You got in you
Find it within
You got it in you
Find it within
Find it within you
Find it within

Through It All, Just Stand Up! 

30 Day Yoga Challenge - There's No Better Time Than Now!

Well 7:30AM yoga didn’t happen.  I hit the snooze button over and over and decided I deserved to sleep in on my day off, so I did.  I was also starving when I woke up, so the 9:45AM cycling class wasn’t an option either because my body felt like it needed a full breakfast, not just 1/2 a banana with a little peanut butter.  Now, I can’t decide what I want my exercise to be today.  Maybe a run.  Maybe an evening yoga class.  Maybe weights.  Maybe I should get the bike checked out so I can feel like I can ride it all over. Maybe.  Just maybe.  

I don’t really have any plans for my two days off in a row and right now I’m loving that.  I’m loving sitting around my apartment in my PJs with no agenda.  It’s another one of those gorgeous LA days where I want to be outside, but don’t exactly have a destination and I struggle to just go out walking in LA because it’s not that friendly of walking city.  But we’ll see, maybe I’ll go out for a walk later.

I’ve set a few self improvement goals for myself: read more, eat better, breathe more, relax more, surround myself with people who love and support me, create and abide by a realistic budget, think clearer and be open.

Some of these things may seem relatively easy or like things I already do, but they are all areas of my life that I feel like need improvement at times.  I do eat healthy but I also generally find myself skipping dinner or eating a bowl of cereal or something not the greatest for my body (usually because I’m too tired to cook).

After watching Eat, Pray, Love the other week, I really want to read the book!  I also want to focus more attention on yoga and meditation because I know the benefits it can bring to your life - I feel the relaxation with the little bit I do now.  I’m thinking about a 30 Day Yoga Challenge.  I have a 1 month unlimited yoga pass to The Yoga Collective in Santa Monica, so what better time to take on the challenge (Plus, I got a deal on it so it’s a $150+ unlimited month - it was $30!).  You never quite see the full benefits of something unless you make a daily habit of it.  I think this would be great for my body, mind and emotional state of being.

Would you like to join me?  You don’t have to be in LA to join me.  You don’t have to go to the same studio to join me.  You don’t have to go to a studio to join me.  All you have to do is commit to doing 30 days of yoga however you can - whether it be 15 minutes, 30 minutes, 60 mins, in a studio, in the comfort of your own home, whatever.  It’s okay to be afraid.  It’s okay to feel overwhelmed.  It’s going to be a major task, but I’m committing to 30 days of yoga.  I’m committing to doing something for myself for the next 30 days.  I’m committing to the improvement of myself for the next 30 days.  And if you’re willing, able and interested, I want you to join me.  I’m committing to each of you out there that I am going to do this.  We are going to do this.  

If you want to commit publicly, privately, have questions or need support, you can email me at kt.talkless.saymore @ gmail . com (you know, without the spaces!) 

I mean, why not?  There’s no better time than right NOW!

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Secret Garden

Not everyday is a good day.  This is something I accepted and prepared to deal with a long time ago.  Unfortunately during those off days, it’s often difficult to remember it’s just one day and that things will look brighter when the sun comes up in the morning.  I need to work on remembering that.

I often find myself admitting “it’s not a good day today, that’s okay, tomorrow will be better” but in the moment of said bad days, it feels like it will never end.  Thankfully I have some awesome people in my life who are there for me and try their best to help me feel better.  To those of you who offered up your support, time, love, motivation and inspiration words today, I thank you.  While I still felt like coming home and plopping on my couch (which I did), the fact that there were people around me who wanted to make sure I knew they were there for me and knew how highly they think of me, meant the world to me.  To the people who got shrugged off, ignored, or got doors shut in their face, you deserved it and happened to catch me on the one day I was willing to inform you of it.  Sorry. :)

At least I came home, made myself a “pizza” (garlic + soy mozzarella cheese on whole wheat dough - I found out my pizza sauce went bad but decided it was okay.  I found a fresh can of sauce in the pantry later.  Oh well...)  I ate my dinner while watching The Secret Garden (I’m still on my old school movies stint).  I forgot a lot of parts of that movie.  I’m glad I watched it.  And the silly plot lines and acting always give me a giggle and make me feel nostalgic.  Oh, to be 10 again...

I have the weekend off - well, Friday and Saturday that is.  I’m not exactly sure how that happened but I’m taking it, accepting it and running with it.  I’m hoping my two days off lead to better days than I’ve had.  And if I’m lucky, a trip to the beach on Saturday?!  I don’t know if I’ll have company but the weather is bound to be beautiful and I could use to make an attempt at no longer having see-through legs. (Yes, they are that white!)

For the remainder of my evening, I will be reading and hitting the hay.  I thought about yoga but I’m choosing to pass up the exercise today.  It was probably not the smartest idea knowing the level of crankiness than generally ensues when I don’t get the proper amount of exercise in a week (I need endorphins flowing through my body on a consistent basis), but when the alarm went off at 4:30 this morning, I was not feeling anything but more sleep.

I know my mom is waking up bright and early to make tea and scones for breakfast while she watches the Royal Wedding, though I can’t say I’ll be doing the same.  Apparently it will begin at 1AM PT, which is in approx 3 hours, I’m tired and I have my eyes set on a 7:30AM yoga class tomorrow morning.  I do have to say that if I was back home, I would probably make myself wake up early and help my mom with the scones and watch the wedding with her.  I think if my sister was home, she’d probably consider the same.  Mom - I hope you have fun!! :)

On a Day like Today - Blah

It’s days like this that make living in LA okay in my book.  It’s nearly 80 degrees and the sun is shining.  But it’s also days like this that make me hate how much you need a car in LA.  Granted I have that bike now which helps (but I’m not really allowing myself to ride it until I get it checked out - I’m afraid it’s going to break under me).  What I really miss though is walking.  If I was in NYC on a day like today, I’d probably walk through Central Park, grab a coffee and keep walking until I reached my destination or my legs got tired.  In Boston, I would grab my camera, walk along the Charles, through the Commons and probably head over to the North End before turning around and heading back home.  In LA, it’s harder to take any of those kinds of trips.  Granted there are side walks and you can walk somewhere, with everything so spread out, you would walk a lot further just to get to your first destination and probably wouldn’t have the energy to make it through all of your errands.  

But weather like this makes me want to go outside - walk around, run, sit in the grass and read, write, listen to music, whatever.  But I feel like if I’m going to go sit in the grass somewhere (or on the beach for that matter), I need to drive to get to that destination.  Annoying.  And generally the whole act of needing to get in my car (especially when gas prices are so frustratingly high), I don’t want to do anything that requires me to get in my car.  That feeling is filled up inside of me today and I really don’t feel like driving, though I did because I wanted to go shopping. :)

I wish I could say it was worth it too but it wasn’t.  I had a pretty unsuccessful shopping trip that just left me feeling pretty awful about myself.  Nothing fit.  Or it didn’t fit right.  It was one of those shopping trips that while you know you shouldn’t let it get to you, it does.  And it did.

So now I sit at home with laundry going, feeling kinda blah and so exhausted I wish I could go to bed right now.  I think it’s going to be an early night.  Blah. 

Foodie for a Day Wednesday

I’m hoping Foodie for a Day will have a few segments today, though we’ll see if that’s able to happen.  I’ve spent the last two days with a headache that I can’t seem to get rid of despite all of my usual tricks.

A few years ago, my sister introduced me to her current favorite breakfast: peanut butter and banana oatmeal.  My initial reaction was “uh...ew” though I have never quite understood why I felt that way.  Peanut butter and banana sandwiches are one of my favorite things ever so I’m not sure why the same ingredients in something like oatmeal made any difference in my mind.  Either way, I ended up trying it and loving it!

Not long after, my friend Justine introduced me to KERF and I realized just how much you could manipulate oatmeal.  KERF has a “Tribute to Oatmeal” page but she is not alone in creating fun oatmeal concoctions; it’s actually quite the food blogging phenomenon.  

I ran out of fresh bananas earlier this week, had no cereal and my only breakfast option left was oatmeal.  I like oatmeal so I was okay with this.  Thankfully I had 1/2 a frozen banana in the freezer which I lightly defrosted before beginning.  Then I combined oatmeal, water, soy milk, cinnamon, vanilla and the defrosted banana on the stove.  When it was done, I topped the oatmeal with a little brown sugar, dried cranberries and a small blob of almond butter.  Delicious!  And of course my cup of coffee on the side!